Back Again

This is my depressed color... Life is all right. Not exactly what i would like it to be right no, but at least time is going fast. Spencer is moving back up here on Thursday, and he's got a job interview sometime.... I'm not really sure when. Today i have done absolutely nothing.. I have laid in bed almost all day. But i am slightly ok with that because i didn't really feel like doing anything...  I'm pretty sure I'm going through a slightly country phase. Pretty much all i have been listening is Carrie Underwood or Miranda Lambert or even Trace Adkins and country heroes.. Garth Brooks.. the Zach brown band. it's getting pretty bad.. i think i might need medical attention.. its getting serious. so i decided that i need a big change in my life. I'm probably gonna get a second piercing in my ears, and also get my belly pierced, but that's not till I'm eighteen, and I'm not ready for ink yet... so idk what else there is that's not horribly drastic except.. a wardrobe change. but i like my style.. so idk what's next. getting married in may.. but i wanna do something big before that. we will just have to see.. i definitely am not getting a sex change (thanks to the friend who suggested that just so she could date me) so i guess I'll just have to wait. BORING!!!!

Me Again

I don't really think anything happened today that was worth mentioning.. Just the usual. Went to work, came home, worked some more, now i don't have energy for pretty much anything. Going to run errands with maryn in a while, it'll be good to get put of the house. I'm honestly to tired to think of anything worthwhile to tell you right now, so this is pretty much it.... got to talk to my man almost all day today :) That was amazing. I love him so much! :)

Just Today

So, nothing really happened today. This blog for me is more like a journal then a blog.... Don't judge me. I have an appointment with my boss today, hope that goes ok. I was listening to a song today that reminded me of how the world is today. Vulnerable, by Secondhand Serenade. It says 'Don't tell me that I'm the only one who's Vulnerable'. It just really made me think, because a lot of people, to protect themselves and act like they are immune to being hurt. Which is silly in truth because that only succeeds in them getting hurt worse then they originally were. I'm not the oldest or the wisest, but I've had enough life experience to know that it's never a good idea to hide your pain and close up, because it just makes you shun people, especially loved ones, and then you have noone to love or be loved by, noone to hold you, and, most importantly, noone to make you feel better. What an unhappy exsitence..

Today...

So today.... Nothing amazing happened. Sometimes i wish that i would have one of those really amazing days like in books where everything that you ever wanted to happen would happen and it would just be absolutely perfect. I have no idea what i would do during my perfect day, but it would be perfect whatever it is.... I've been feeling kind of blah lately... I started an online job today, so that's pretty cool. I decided today that i have no idea where i want to go in life. i was writing yesterday about how we go wherever we want to go in life and it's our decision, and last night i was laying in bed thinking and i have no idea where i want to go or what i want to do in my life. So i guess i'd better make some goals and decide what to do and practice what i preach, no?

Back Again....

Hey all!!!! Back again.. Life has been pretty darn good recently. I found a nice man, and I'm happy. Life is going great, and everything is going pretty much the way i want it to. I realized that life has it's ups and downs, but no matter what happens, it's my choice where my life goes, and it's my own fault if I'm not happy. Events can happen in my life that i have no control over, and people might do things that hurt me, but i still have control over where i get in life. People are people, and no matter how careful you are, there will always be that one person who gets under your skin and hurts you. But that's part of life, you live, laugh, love, cry, hurt, smile, enjoy life, but never forget who you are, where you came from, what made you who you are, or what's been lost. People often get caught up in mourning lost dreams or loved ones, but what they don't realize is that they have so much more life to live. Life is so full for those who reach out with open hands to receive it. I believe that anyone can make the best of the worst cicumstances if they really stretch their mental capacity. Plain and simple.

Just Me

I'm just me. Plain and simply me. You don't know what I've been through and you can hardly say you know me. Don't judge me. It's not you're place. You can say whatever you'd like to my face but don't talk behind my back.. Don't talk about things you've heard. Ya i get around. Not everybody likes me and a lot of people have problems with me. But don't believe everything you hear. Most of it's not true. I haven't always been the best person, but you can't say that you'd be better. You don't know what I've felt. You don't know what I've thought. Because if you had, you would'nt say the things you do. All you people who've judged me, if you really knew what i was thinking you wouldn't act the way you do around me. <3